All of you is welcome here.

         Touch therapy is very important and can be as simple as hands-on Reiki, cuddling, reflexology, or getting a message. Or as in-depth as Oming (orgasmic mediation), tantric massage, or tantra.


            Healing one's relationship with touch may start with self-exploration, exploring sensation, self-care, and developing your emotional IQ. It may also take some healing around mental and emotional trauma. Once that healing takes place it is very important to bridge the gap between your mind and body. Our bodies are our storehouse for our life experiences, especially trauma. It may play out in the mind but it tends to live in our bodies.


              Healing touch emotionally, mentally, and physically enables one to be more self-aware. So people can come from a more self-informed place when it comes to establishing boundaries and interacting with the world around them. Coming from a grounded sense of self in touch with one's wants and need, instead of fear and uncertainty.


               Fear and uncertainty put us in fight, flight, and freeze where our cognitive function is limited and we do not make the best decisions. When establishing boundaries around touch, intimacy, and sex being fight, flight and freeze can put us in dangerous situations.


               To be a whole healthy humans, ideally, we would live in and from our bodies, not our heads. Our minds are what runs our bodies and allows us to interact with the world around us. But our true wisdom dwells deep within us, in our DNA, and interacts with us through our Svadhisthana, hara, Gut, heart, and intuition.


                 Our mind is the servant of our internal guidance, intuition, and higher-selves is our true source. For it is the part of us that is eternal and has no fear in this life or the next. It is the part of us that knows there is no right or wrong, everything just is, it has always has been, and will always be.


                Due to encounters, traumas, or abuse, the majority of people in the world today do not live in their bodies, and most really do not want to. But when we negate our bodies for the comfort of our minds we can lose our balanced perspective and self-awareness.


              Causing us to work from limited information about ourselves and the world around us. Information that comes to us through the filter of self-preservation and steers us in the wrong direction which tends to put us in more danger and at the least drama.


          When the mind is based in survival/self-preservation, its job is to keep us alive/ functioning. The problem is it will do this at all costs, while miss reading situations as life-threatening when they are not.


            By the time we are old enough to make our own decisions, we are already hardwired with self-defeating beliefs in the name of self-preservation, AKA survival skills. These survival skills are based on a need to protect us when we were too young to handle the situation another way.


               Now grown we know no other way to interact when we get triggered and think we are in danger. This may cause us to over or under-react or even under-react. Whichever extreme it is remember if it is hysterical it is historical, meaning it has very little to do with the situation at hand.


             Sex is vital to the human experience, spirituality, it is life force, the divine spark that created us all. But like every self-empowering belief, study or practice it has been demonized by the powers that be and want to stay in control.

     

               For a fully empowered human is a truly free human. they are not above or below they just are. Freely giving and receiving in harmony with everyone and things around them.

But that can only happen if we learn to fully embrace ourselves and fully embody this mortal coil. Recognizing it for the temple that it is, sex and all.


              If you want to know how much you really love yourself? Just look at how you let the people around you treat you. Also, notice how you treat the people around you. Do you judge them harshly? If so you are more than likely judging yourself even harder. (See shadow work)


            All Eastern philosophies had sacred text on various sexual practices because they knew how important sexuality is to a human's well-rounded health, our Minds, bodies, and souls, a fully empowered human.

In the decades I have worked with people, in all kinds of stages of life and situations, I have seen a lot when it comes to sex, sexuality, and gender.


          If there is one thing this has shown me is the desperate need for a safe place to talk, learn and at times even practice "Safe Sex" and I mean safe as in every sense of the word. Mentally, emotionally and physically safe and in that order.


         Have you ever really dived into what sex means to you? If you haven't how would you know exactly what you are looking for in a partner or relationship?


   Are you blindsided by how strong your emotional attachment is when you get sexually involved with someone you did even think you were that interested in? Or do you have a hard time enjoying sex? Do you arrive too soon or not at all?


     It is really important to be able to talk about these things and to start having a healthy conversation around sex to be able to heal and embrace ourselves fully.


      I have always believed if you can't talk about sex, especially with your partner your experiences will be lacking. Good, deep nurturing sex is a mind, body, and soul connection, it's not just for reproduction.


     If you don't know what you want or how to talk about it, you are already missing key components to a healthy sex life. If you're in your head the whole time, can't drop into your body, then your connection with your partner it will be fleeting even if it is good. God is in everyone and everything we connect to, not being able to fully connect with the person you are with cuts you're the spiritual connection in sex.


      Not to mention all these things inhibit our self-awareness in all areas of our lives, especially where we need it the most. If you don't know yourself how could anyone else get to know you?


       If you don't know the reasons behind your what, why, when, or how, how can anyone else trust your motive. No one can know these things for you, it is a big part of being, you have to know so you can be clear in what you are asking for, what your needs are. Mind-reading and guessing games are all recipes for disaster.


       Sex is natural and if we could only be raised as such, without the condemnation and the shame that tends to go along with the topic. We probably wouldn't be dealing with all the sexual violence and just plain bad sex out there.


      Or have a booming porn business that is based on violence, degradation, and lack of mutual respect that is fueling the rape culture. Not to mention feeding the misogynistic narrative that perpetuates bad sex, violence against women, and the lack of equality and personal ownership women still face over their bodies, It's all connected.


   When you look at all of this it is born out of pure ignorance and lack of education. I don't mean what we learn at school, but just our inability to have a healthy conversation about it within our family units. Sex is a major part of life and needs to be taught and talked about like another life experience, like driving.


   Now is not the time to be shy, especially when it comes to kids, there are exposed to way too much these days. But if we take the fear out of it, we can take the opportunities handed to us and turn hard conversations into valuable conversations and life lessons.


    Trust me I get it it is not an easy topic, what is age-appropriate?, how nonchalant should I be? Especially when it comes to masturbation and breaking all those body taboos. Everyone masturbates and if you don't, you may want to look into it. Your ability to love yourself plays into your ability to be loved and have great sex.


     I'm not talking about getting off, I'm talking about a deeper connection to yourself, your partner, and spirit, and out of this union the ability to experience mind-blowing sex. Don't give your sexual power away, own it, cultivate it after all it is your life source. Believe it or not, your self-pleasuring skills are the foundation of your sex life.


        Think about it, how would things be different as far as intimacy and relationships go if you were told sex starts with yourself and it is all part of the learning curve.


    We should all be able to talk about these things, openly, but our minds, conditioning, and society have convinced us otherwise. Causing some to feel toxic shame around sex and desires corrupting how we see ourselves and others. Keeping us in a shame spiral that keeps us hiding that part of ourselves in the dark where our negative beliefs about ourselves grow, creating self-loathing and unhealthy views and expectations around sex.

Let's break this cycle.